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What am I supposed to say to this crazy customer issue, or for any outrageous customer issue in general?

This customer responded to my request to provide some support, but what the actual hell am I supposed to say to this? Assuming this is 100% true (this seems hard to make up), what do I say to this poor customer to help?

I believe this email response is so late and so restrictive because my father contacted [your company] to see that I could not get a better phone. My iphone x was pulled out of my hands in Quito, Ecuador and I contacted the US Embassy to get through to Apple because Apple, the chip provider, and the National Police under the direction of the CIA refused to help find it. I had been without a phone for more than a month and became desperate because I did not sue the CIA for doing this and my problems belong in Supreme Court against the CIA and my parents for attacking me in jail during my son's first birthday almost dead, charging me with stalking them. The seller can change his mind. If he doesn't I will give this phone to charity and have the CIA buy my iphone 12. The camera in the eight is unprofessional and my ten was much clearer. My father is trying to drive me retarded and insane. He is denigrative and destroying my life. I should never have gotten involved in this with him. I knew [your company] had horrible Customer Service.

submitted by /u/pyRSL64
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